Breaking to Pieces (A Before I Break Novel Book 2) Read online

  Copyright

  Breaking to Pieces is a work of fiction. All names, characters, locations, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  BREAKING TO PIECES: A NOVEL

  Copyright © 2021 by A. L. Hartwell

  All rights reserved.

  Editing by Pure Grammar Editing

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  Cover Design by KP Designs

  - www.kpdesignshop.com

  Published by Kingston Publishing Company

  - www.kingstonpublishing.com

  The uploading, scanning, and distribution of this book in any form or by any means—including but not limited to electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise—without the permission of the copyright holder is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized editions of this work, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.

  Table of Contents

  Copyright

  Table of Contents

  DEDICATIONS

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  Extras

  About the Author

  Also by the Author

  About the Publisher

  DEDICATIONS

  Callum, thank you for putting up with me when my head was lost in the clouds. Your encouragement and support are second to none. I love you.

  Mum, you fill my days with encouragement and let me geek out with you about the characters I’ve created. I hope you find all the answers you need in this one. And welcome to the dark side.

  Richard F, although you never got to see me publish my first book, I know that you would be incredibly proud. If you were here today, you would scold me for all the swearing, but also be the first to tell everyone and their dog to buy it. I miss you dearly.

  And to the Bookstagrammers who are second to none in their support: You lovely ladies brighten my day with your kindness- this one is for you.

  CHAPTER ONE

  Olivia Heart

  “LET HIM GO.”

  I felt the invisible handcuffs slip around my wrists as soon as the words left my lips. With three small words, I solidified myself into Luca Caruso’s life, accepting my place by his side once and for all. I had chosen Black’s freedom and given Luca everything that he wanted.

  I’d given him me.

  Given him maximum control when I saw there were no real choices, no options, and not a single way out. A man like Luca, the devil reincarnated, wouldn’t just let me walk away. It wasn’t in his nature to watch his prey run free, not when he enjoyed the hunt so much.

  Luca’s dark eyes seared into mine. “That wasn’t so difficult now, was it?”

  Through bared teeth, I hiss, “Fuck off, you sick bastard.”

  Bones shoved me hard between the shoulder blades, warning me to shut my mouth. I used my elbow against his ribs in retaliation, but he barely flinched. Fuck, it was like fighting a brick wall.

  Unfazed by my snarling hatred, Luca smugly turns to Chen. “Get her out of my sight.”

  Chen, the diligent asshole, yanks me backwards by my dress and I teeter dangerously in my heels. Bones catches me, keeping me upright with his brutish grip on my elbow. Their touch makes me want to vomit and claw at their eyes.

  Chen’s voice only stirs my hatred. “Yes, sir.”

  Luca watches me with ice calmness while I’m dragged back into the house and away from the destruction that was still unfolding by the pool, ruining the once tranquil setting.

  My hands lash out, my words burn with acid, and the tears finally dry up. Rage, now my only friend, comforts me and warms my skin, leaving me without the burden of fear as I fight Chen and Bones with every step.

  I’m done crying over this man.

  Done being dragged backwards and forwards.

  I’m done.

  Under the layers of searing anger that were twisting and shredding my recent happier memories of Luca, I felt a new feeling bloom under my skin. Overtaking my anger was a satisfaction so great, that I stopped fighting Chen to focus on it. Satisfaction whispered to me, reminding me that I had Luca’s secrets and he couldn’t hide from me anymore.

  The mask that he wore had finally slipped enough.

  We were evening out faster than he could control.

  The look of fear that glinted in his eyes only minutes ago told me all I needed to know. Luca may have control over my life and what I do with it, but I have control over every part of him. I was the center of his universe, the weight around his heart, the reason he barely clung to his sanity when I denied him. I was everything and more.

  The pinnacle of his existence.

  The gravity that kept him on this godforsaken rock.

  He could spend the rest of his life treating me this way, forcing me to submit by his side, demanding that I accept him, but he will never be able to control his feelings towards me.

  Only I had that power.

  I’d never thought in my life that I would find relief in knowing I could hold so much power over another human being. But I did, and I told myself over and over again that I shouldn’t feel an ounce of pity for the man that had taken me in the middle of the night.

  Not again.

  ****

  Rum, on strict orders from Chen, tied me to a chair with zip ties in a room that’s unfurnished and cold. I was somewhere deep in the underbelly of the house, where the only light comes from small windows from the wall to my right. It’s dark and eerie, smelling of dampness with the litterings of forgotten tools. Maybe this room was supposed to be an indoor pool, it’s certainly big enough, but holds no remnants of a near future.

  Like me.

  My laugh echoes across the empty space, bouncing off the empty walls and right back into my ears.

  My heels lay haphazardly on the cold, tile floor in front of the door. A reminder that even when they shoved me in here, I had fought. The tear on the right side of my dress is another badge of honor. I had managed to wiggle myself free, enough to slap Chen across the face until Rum caught me, pulling me back by my dress until it tore.

  I smirk into the darkness. The look on Chen’s face alone was worth being tied to this chair with zip ties eating at my skin.

  Smug bastard deserved it.

  Even with the zip ties dragging their teeth into my flesh, I didn’t stop trying to free myself. All I needed was one more shot at
them, and I’d be able to make peace with myself. At least, I could tell myself that I had tried when I looked back on this day.

  Noisy steps creak from above and I know that it is Bones coming to see me. He has a pattern and a particularly heavy step sequence that I recognize from his time as my shadow.

  The door swings open, and he blazes over to me. I brace and prepare to be ripped back up, but instead, he snatches off his tie and advances.

  “Fuck off,” I growl, turning my face from his outstretched hand “Don’t touch me!”

  “Don’t be stupid, Olivia,” he hisses, as he shoves the tie into my un-wanting mouth, stretching my lips painfully until the material takes up all the narrow space at the back of my throat.

  I gag against the musk and smoke coating the material and try to dislodge it with my tongue.

  Rage swirled with panic as the material begins to choke me.

  Bones crouches down, his right knee creaking as he grabs my face.

  “You’re in enough deep shit to last you a lifetime, be quiet and don’t fight him on this, okay? You might just come out of this unscathed.”

  I glower, throwing my body forward to attack him with a feral growl.

  Pushing my shoulders back he pins me to the rickety chair, barely moving a muscle.

  I growl around the tie, my saliva coating the foreign material.

  “You should have left that boutique the moment Black stepped in, Olivia. Black’s nothing but a psychotic liar-”

  The door behind him bursts open again, slamming against the house and we both flinch.

  “Out. Now,” Luca barks at Bones, with a tone full of unrelenting violence.

  Bones threw me one last glare before backing up and turning on his heel. Nodding sharply to the man I despised more than anything in this rotten world. Bones disappeared through the door and left me with the monster.

  So much for protecting me.

  I watch with bated breath as Luca strides across the room, holding a folder and enough arrogance to smother me more than the tie in my mouth.

  Power vibrates off him as he pulls up a chair, choosing to sit a foot away from me where I am still easily accessible.

  “Are you calm enough to have a civil conversation? If you are, I’ll take the tie out.”

  I growl around my gag, ignoring the urge to choke when it tickled my tonsils.

  Fuck you.

  He chuckles darkly before letting his eyes travel from the tie and down my body, taking great care to stare at my exposed thighs. My dress was bunched high, exposing far too much skin for his viewing pleasure.

  Luca licked his lips, contemplating his dark fantasies, and whether he hated me enough to go through with them. I shrink away, trying to shift my hips so that the dress would fall.

  Leaning over he tugs the hem of my dress down, his knuckles brushing my thigh, and my heart freezes. He glares up at me before pulling down my dress and removing his touch.

  “I’ll take that as a no.” Opening up the folder, he leans back and begins lazily skimming the hidden document.

  I shift in my seat, trying to rid the burn he had left on my skin.

  “Want to know what this is?” He waved the folder in front of me, smirking. “They found it in the back of your friend's car.”

  I swallow thickly- worrying about Black and what was coming next.

  Luca leaned forward and grabbed my knee with the hand that had my initial tattooed on it. His touch caught me off guard again, but I was smart enough to resist the urge to pull away again this time.

  I wouldn’t give him my fear.

  I’m still in control.

  He squeezed- hard and I cringed.

  “Your eyes are full of pretty rage for me, Olivia, but yet your body gives you away.” He slides his possessive hand from my knee to the top of my thigh in one quick sweep. My teeth ache from clamping down on the tie in my mouth, but I resist the urge to vocalize my fury.

  He’d only win.

  There was nothing more I wanted on this earth than to feel disgust at his touch, but it never came. Instead, expectation and sizzling apprehension produced goosebumps across my flesh.

  Fuck, I’m more damaged than I thought.

  Snickering, he pulled back and returned to the folder. One quick lick of his finger, he pulls out a piece of paper and begins to read. I watch his eyes dart across the paper while curiosity gnaws at the edges of my consciousness.

  “Traumatic grief and acute trauma. Interesting… I’d agree with the grief, but trauma?”

  I’ve heard those words before, somewhere in a distant part of my life and it triggers a cold response across my skin.

  He looks at me from under his dark lashes. “Olivia has severe distrust in men, stemming from the traumatic death of her father, who was the closest to her at the time of his death. When her father is mentioned, she regresses to anger—”

  I gag in shock, coughing around the tie that’s made a home in my mouth. Painful memories sting my eyes, and all my anger evaporates into the air around us.

  “Something the matter?”

  A memory demanding that Luca leave this part of my life alone presents itself with cruel clarity. He had looked me in the eye and gave me his word that he wouldn’t. Now, he was taking great pleasure in exposing the second most painful time in my life— his promise empty, like the many we had made to each other.

  I shrink away.

  He drops my gaze and returns to his revenge. “Miss Heart’s refusal to take prescribed medication has caused concern with her grandparents after a recent outburst—very interesting.”

  Raw memories tip upside down and empty back into my head. Flashes of a pill bottle and forcing myself to be sick burn me with embarrassment. Those feelings of desperation feel like fire licking against my skin. I was desperate to feel anything but numbness from the medication doctors pumped me with, and now, I’d give anything to go back there.

  My gag suddenly feels heavy in my throat. I’m going to suffocate, and he’s barely acknowledged me since he started reading aloud. The monster I had glimpsed sits across from me today on his throne of power.

  “Miss Heart has trouble recalling positive memories in regard to her parents.”

  My mother's face presents itself before I can block my unwelcome grief. She stares at me with a cold disapproval and suddenly, I feel like that child who couldn’t do enough to win her mother's approval.

  “Miss Heart has a fear reaction to fire... interesting.”

  A noise slips around the gag and I hate myself for it.

  Luca doesn’t falter in his desire to punish me. If anything, my anguish spurs him on.

  “Miss Heart has struggled to maintain relationships with friends—citing a lack of need for companionship. During our most recent sessions she has made it clear that she isn’t interested in expanding her relationships beyond family.”

  The file in his hand is his weapon of choice and I’m an open target. Each sentence feels like a burning knife entering my skin with slow precision of leaving permanent marks.

  I’d done so well all these years to block out that part of my life and to bury it so deep that those feelings were just echoes of pain, almost nonexistent and bearable.

  Until now.

  Forcing my head back, I try to drag in as much air through my nose as I can, but my lungs are too scared to cooperate, they know more is coming.

  “Miss Heart blames her father for abandoning her. Abandonment issues will continue to hinder her future relationships if she doesn’t—”

  My muffled scream halts his enjoyment abruptly. In one tug he rips away the sodden tie from my mouth and grabs my jaw.

  “Had enough?” he demands, glaring darkness into me.

  “You said you wouldn’t read those files. I-I had your word,” the words are barely a whisper between us.

  The smirk that turns my stomach is back. “And I had yours, didn’t I Olivia? We made plenty of promises to one another.”

  I close my eyes becau
se behind my lids he doesn’t exist. The coping mechanisms I’d learned as a child return like the opening of a parachute, ready to soften my fall.

  His fingers trace tears from my cheeks until they dig into my chin, forcing me to open back up to him.

  “But you chose to disregard all of them. Ignoring all the hard work we put in for a prick with empty promises.”

  I twist my chin out of his reach and pull back. Luca had gone far beyond the scope of cruelty by finding that file. If he thought this would be the perfect way to punish me, he was right. I was beyond punished.

  Black had tried to protect me from this—I was certain of it. It would have been his job to provide Luca with everything about me, but he purposely kept this one file hidden.

  The one person who had my back in all of this was probably dead.

  “Where is he?”

  I needed to know that I hadn’t given up my freedom for nothing.

  Luca leaned back, my question tipping him from anger to white-hot fire.

  “Chen is deciding his fate as we speak,” he bit out through clenched teeth.

  A strangled choke splutters from my lips. “But I made a choice. I gave you—”

  Luca stopped me mid-sentence by throwing the file and grabbing my chair between my legs. I’m yanked forward and our knees knock together painfully before I can finish my sentence.

  “Black gave you information on their families, Olivia.” He moved a piece of my hair and gently tucked it behind my ear, contradicting the dark glint in his eye that tells me the last thing he wants to be right now is gentle.

  I shiver under him.

  “He went against his own code and put them in a dangerous situation. Now it’s up to them to decide what’s the best way to deal with their traitor.”

  “No, he was just trying to help me! Just let him go.” I tug at my confines trying to free my hands from the zip ties, desperate to do something other than be punished.

  Black had tried to help me, but he wasn’t going to risk anybody else. It was simply an empty threat in case they refused to let me go. He doesn’t deserve to suffer because I had been stupid to come back.